Telepathe @ Deaf Institute

So as I'm wandering out tonight I'm thinking about this solo gig going mularky and how the expectation of disaster changes your expectation of an evening..no longer is it a case 'I hope the band live upto expectation' but rather 'I hope I can get through this without making an utter clown of myself'. I'm thinking about this when I'm stood at the bus stop and the bus pulls up, doors open, doors close, bus drives off. Me..?? I'm still stood at the bus stop with all kinds of "WHAT THE FUCK!!" written all over my face!! I'm still a little stunned at how the previous bus driver obviously didn't like the look of me when I hop on another bus and we're off into town, except we're not, because this driver takes a wrong turn and then under the guidence of the jamaican behemoth on the front seat executes a three point turn even my placid driving instructor would cringe at. I'm already late setting off because I got side tracked by the Uefa Cup Final...Well done Shakhtar BTW!!

Oh yeah and did I mention it was raining or at least it was when I realised the bus I'd hopped on went to Piccadilly but not Oxford Road so I'd have to heel and toe it down to the Deaf Institute. Finally I got there.

With all the hilarity of Me Vs The Buses, I've missed the first band but gladly spot that Telepathe are on at 10pm which means we're on for the bus home and don't have to worry about a taxi (see Health review) so perhaps that's the way it works...an ordeal either on way to or way back from a gig. Anyway I got there. I manage to catch most of Sir Please Sir or Sir Yes Sir not sure what their name is as they aren't the ones listed on the poster.

Lets get straight to the point...they were shit. The type of fodder you'd expect at a 'local band' night not on stage supporting a highly tipped band on tour. The three piece of guitar, bass and drums contained members who could barely play, special nomination for the bass player who looked like he was holding his instrument for the first time (pfnarr). Their emo ramblings were a clash of noise with little coherence, the bass and drums couldn't drive the songs on. What you got instead was a stagnent mush of average planted right in your face. It's worse when they try and banter "this ones from emo classic 7" says the hilarious singer going on to say "You should blame all this on Stephen Malkmus". While Malkmus and his Pavement cronies are certainly responsible for a lot of things I'm not holding them accoutable for this, that would be insanity.

The band then complete the list of "things that shit band do onstage" (before you ask of course they've got the initials of the band name in masking tape on their guitars!) they have a joke with all their mates in the audience and then claim "We don't have tuners we do it by ear" and then a good minute and a half of the most annoying sound in the world as they try and tune up. They're dead young and obviously haven't got much of a clue so I tend to blame the promoter here. File under "What the fuck was I thinking".

Just a quick word about the crowd while were at it. I was expecting this gig to be Ramo (could've used Chocker there as well but I didn't)...Dance Mother the Telepathe debut album has recieved acclaim from across the music world and featured in many of the "Best of 2008" lists published around the web. Their live reputation is a little shakey but the Deaf Institute is about a third full tonight.

The Telepathe album didn't grab me at first. It doesn't jump out at you, choosing to swamp your senses with a treacle of laid back cool. The two girls Melissa Livaudais and Busy Gangnes (yeah I know..) take their time setting up on stage a series of tables heaving with synths, samplers and mixers. They open with the fantastic Chromes On It. It seems to take the girls a while to get the levels to their pleasing and then they definitely seem to hit a groove. Ploughing seemlessly through the albums stand out tracks So Fine and Can't Stand It.



They've chosen to play in darkness with only a psychedelic projector illuminating the the stage... In a darker venue I think it'd look fantastic but with wallpaper as lurid as the Deaf Institutes in seems a bit of a strange move. I would've gone for some uplighters or something because it did feel like the geezer on lights had fucked off for a fag!! They'd obviously intended for the bass to be very loud and powerful and it certainly was...to such an extent that I think it overpowered some of the slower more subtle numbers. The vocals that are a key element in the songs (obviously!) were burried in the mix and often I couldn't hear the syths for the sound of the venue reverberating with bass. At one point I could actually feel beer bubbling with the reverberation around my throat as I tried to swallow. I'm certain a second either side of that swallow and the two lesbians (one hot, one not) in front of me would've been drenched in beery bass spray!!

Reading this back seems like I wasn't too impressed by them which isn't really fair because I was. It's just I'm not sure the sound and the lighting were good choices. You are always going to have problems with live performance when your live set up is two people standing behind keyboards...It doesn't give you the energy or focus a traditional band line up does. I'm not sure what the answer is...I don't think playing in the dark is!!