Telepathe @ Deaf Institute

So as I'm wandering out tonight I'm thinking about this solo gig going mularky and how the expectation of disaster changes your expectation of an evening..no longer is it a case 'I hope the band live upto expectation' but rather 'I hope I can get through this without making an utter clown of myself'. I'm thinking about this when I'm stood at the bus stop and the bus pulls up, doors open, doors close, bus drives off. Me..?? I'm still stood at the bus stop with all kinds of "WHAT THE FUCK!!" written all over my face!! I'm still a little stunned at how the previous bus driver obviously didn't like the look of me when I hop on another bus and we're off into town, except we're not, because this driver takes a wrong turn and then under the guidence of the jamaican behemoth on the front seat executes a three point turn even my placid driving instructor would cringe at. I'm already late setting off because I got side tracked by the Uefa Cup Final...Well done Shakhtar BTW!!

Oh yeah and did I mention it was raining or at least it was when I realised the bus I'd hopped on went to Piccadilly but not Oxford Road so I'd have to heel and toe it down to the Deaf Institute. Finally I got there.

With all the hilarity of Me Vs The Buses, I've missed the first band but gladly spot that Telepathe are on at 10pm which means we're on for the bus home and don't have to worry about a taxi (see Health review) so perhaps that's the way it works...an ordeal either on way to or way back from a gig. Anyway I got there. I manage to catch most of Sir Please Sir or Sir Yes Sir not sure what their name is as they aren't the ones listed on the poster.

Lets get straight to the point...they were shit. The type of fodder you'd expect at a 'local band' night not on stage supporting a highly tipped band on tour. The three piece of guitar, bass and drums contained members who could barely play, special nomination for the bass player who looked like he was holding his instrument for the first time (pfnarr). Their emo ramblings were a clash of noise with little coherence, the bass and drums couldn't drive the songs on. What you got instead was a stagnent mush of average planted right in your face. It's worse when they try and banter "this ones from emo classic 7" says the hilarious singer going on to say "You should blame all this on Stephen Malkmus". While Malkmus and his Pavement cronies are certainly responsible for a lot of things I'm not holding them accoutable for this, that would be insanity.

The band then complete the list of "things that shit band do onstage" (before you ask of course they've got the initials of the band name in masking tape on their guitars!) they have a joke with all their mates in the audience and then claim "We don't have tuners we do it by ear" and then a good minute and a half of the most annoying sound in the world as they try and tune up. They're dead young and obviously haven't got much of a clue so I tend to blame the promoter here. File under "What the fuck was I thinking".

Just a quick word about the crowd while were at it. I was expecting this gig to be Ramo (could've used Chocker there as well but I didn't)...Dance Mother the Telepathe debut album has recieved acclaim from across the music world and featured in many of the "Best of 2008" lists published around the web. Their live reputation is a little shakey but the Deaf Institute is about a third full tonight.

The Telepathe album didn't grab me at first. It doesn't jump out at you, choosing to swamp your senses with a treacle of laid back cool. The two girls Melissa Livaudais and Busy Gangnes (yeah I know..) take their time setting up on stage a series of tables heaving with synths, samplers and mixers. They open with the fantastic Chromes On It. It seems to take the girls a while to get the levels to their pleasing and then they definitely seem to hit a groove. Ploughing seemlessly through the albums stand out tracks So Fine and Can't Stand It.



They've chosen to play in darkness with only a psychedelic projector illuminating the the stage... In a darker venue I think it'd look fantastic but with wallpaper as lurid as the Deaf Institutes in seems a bit of a strange move. I would've gone for some uplighters or something because it did feel like the geezer on lights had fucked off for a fag!! They'd obviously intended for the bass to be very loud and powerful and it certainly was...to such an extent that I think it overpowered some of the slower more subtle numbers. The vocals that are a key element in the songs (obviously!) were burried in the mix and often I couldn't hear the syths for the sound of the venue reverberating with bass. At one point I could actually feel beer bubbling with the reverberation around my throat as I tried to swallow. I'm certain a second either side of that swallow and the two lesbians (one hot, one not) in front of me would've been drenched in beery bass spray!!

Reading this back seems like I wasn't too impressed by them which isn't really fair because I was. It's just I'm not sure the sound and the lighting were good choices. You are always going to have problems with live performance when your live set up is two people standing behind keyboards...It doesn't give you the energy or focus a traditional band line up does. I'm not sure what the answer is...I don't think playing in the dark is!!

ATP Breeders

Seems like only yesterday I helped press gang a good friend into logging onto his laptop and buying this years ATP tickets with his credit card. The shock and awe on his face after he'd just dropped six hundred notes with the flimsy promise of "I'll get you my ticket money soon..well pretty soon!"..still amuses me to this day.

But months did indeed fly by and whilst the line up for this years second ATP May weekender appeared a little tame on the surface you just can't deny that it's one of the best festivals around. In terms of atmosphere, location and quality of bands, ATP is unsurpassed. If you've never been or heard of it (where've ya been??) it's essentially like a small summer festival but just take out all the shit bands, add loads of weirder bands, remove all the pissed up knobheads that cause trouble add a few pissed up weirdos that are funny to watch and then let everyone stay in the splendor that is Mineheads Butlins Campus...Indie Rock Prison Camp is the best weekend of your life!

So we made the four hour drive to Minehead in well...four hours..weird that! Rocked up to the chalet and reclined in our luxurious living quarters, realised we'd probably brought far too much booze and not enough food. We checked out the days line ups and realising what time it was off we went. First problem arose in that Giant Sand were on downstairs, and The Bronx on upstairs on the excellent Centre Stage. Ten years ago Giant Sand would of won this, as it is now Bronx won out...No regrets they were ace. To be honest I'm not sure what happened next...memory blank but there must have been some other bands on!!



Next up was the stella Bon Iver. This was definitely a highlight for all of our party, big fans of the beardy one. His live set was brilliant. Fuzzing up the livelier tracks from album and EP into a frenzy of blissful guitar and pounding drum rhythms with that incredible voice soaring over the top of us and into the heavens. The swapping of instruments gave the set a nice variety, without losing momentum and the set list provided all the hits. Great show.
I'm not gonna write every detail of what we did all weekend, that would take too long and you'd just end up reading this and thinking "Why'd you go to a festival and spend most of your time watching weird shit on the telly!" guilty as charged, I'm going with the idea that you gotta get into the vibe and few cans of moderately cool (try tepid) Carlsberg and some shit telly (some really fucking weird telly btw) is ideal before getting your head smashed in by Shellac...which is what happened on saturday. They were incredible. As were Melt Banana. The Japanese mentalists overlapped the much hyped Deerhunter who I wanted to see to see what all the fuss was about. They were very good in fact, even if the sing along with Kim and Kelley deal was sweet to the point of vomit inducing. The Deal sisters seemed to be enjoying themselves with a serious of cameos throughout the weekend.



I was dissappointed to see so many "older" bands on the bill. Whilst I'll always have time for the Breeders (if only for Pod) the selection of Teenage Fanclub, Throwing Muses, CSS and Foals seemed a little pedestrian to me...The addition of the unbelievably good Mariachi el Bronx (bronx go mexicana) clawed back some points as did the second Shellac set and a late night Holy Fuck show that divided our group as to how good they were (i'm in the 7 to 9 out of ten camp).



It's only looking at the list of bands who played that I realise just how much we didn't see...always the way with festivals I guess...had an incredible time though, need to go and buy some Melt banana albums now.